Do The Things That Scare You

Having a sick baby who was not diagnosed before birth is one way to get thrown into the deep end of the trauma pool and be forced to sink or swim.   There was no time for fear, to sit and cry or to even evaluate the situation.

Patient advocates are forced to act on a dime.  In any situation.   Whether it's to get transportation, medication, therapies or insurance coverage, to make a decision on care or to perform a life saving measure... we do what we have to do at the moment it's called for.   Instinctively.   Because we often have no choices.

This taught me to face my fears head on.   

I had to learn how to advocate for my child.

I had to learn to speak up even when intimidated.

I had to share my opinion, thoughts, wishes and what I knew what was best for my son.   Despite often being the least educated person in the room full of doctors.

When I "decided" to start a charity, I again had to overcome a lot of fear.  I say "decided" because any truly dedicated charity leader will tell you that it's a calling, not a decision.  We don't feel like we had any say so really in the matter.

I had to overcome the feelings of not being good enough, educated enough, old enough, experienced enough.   

Just like I had to overcome fear when my son was born, I had to overcome fear when my charity was born... because someone had to take charge and no one else was.  

To my surprise.. I actually figured out how to do the things that I needed to learn how to do.   

I learned how to do CPR. 

I learned how to clean a ventilator.

I learned how to insert an NG feeding tube.

I can suction out and change a trach. 

I learned how to transport a kid on life support.

I learned how to do those things because I had to overcome my fear.   I didn't have a choice if I wanted my son to live.

I also learned how to incorporate an entity in my state.

I learned to file annual tax returns for a nonprofit.

I learned how to code a web site.

I learned how to start a patient registry and all the privacy laws in all the countries we work in.

I learned how to create our logos and our publications.

I learned how to code a phone App.

I moved overseas for months to set up NGOs.

I argued with medical professionals to open doors to allow patient advocates a seat at the table.  

I learned how to write legislation.

I learned how to write books.

I learned a lot.  All the time.  I still am.

I overcame my fear and insecurities and pushed through to keep the charity moving forward.

The funny thing about overcoming your fears is that eventually you become fearless.

Once, I was too shy and afraid to question my child's doctor when I knew he was lying to me about a piece of medical equipment to try to brush me off.     

20 years later, we speak at the same medical conferences and I can shake his hand as a peer and collaborate with him to help other kids.  

Once, I was so scared to speak publicly that my teeth chattered when I got up in front of an audience and my eyes never left my speech because I was too afraid to look up.   

Now, I give speeches without actual written speeches.  I sometimes do this on national television or in front of crowds of 1000's of people.  And people pay me to do this!   

The first time that I traveled alone, I was so afraid of missing my flight, losing my ticket, doing something wrong... that I did not sleep for 2 days before my trip.   

Last year, I was stranded alone in a country in Africa without any government or banks and no money in my pocket for 3 days.   I shrugged my shoulders and I figured it out.  I had a blast and I never went hungry or without shelter. 

Once, I was so afraid of heights, that even seeing someone else lean over a rail would give me an anxiety attack.   

Now, I'm working on my pilot's license.  Slowly, but I will eventually get there.   I've learned how to land and to get out of stalls... and I wasn't even afraid.

The key to overcoming fear is to just keep stepping forward until you can fly.